I was in Thailand with a few buddies and checked out some clubs in Phuket. I got hammered and then got separated from the other guys. At some point this sweet slutty looking local came up to me and asked if I would buy her a drink. I figured she was a hooker but when I questioned her she claimed she was just into me.

One thing led to another and the next thing I remember I was waking up next to her in my hotel room. I'm cheap so I was sharing a room with another dude... he was asleep in the other bed.

I figured it was time for a little quiet morning action. I started making out with my date. After a few minutes of this she starting giving me a little tug. Thinking it would only be polite to return the favor, I reached down to play with her and suddenly found out she, was in fact, a he!!!

I screamed, jumped out of bed, and yelled "you're a dude!!!"

Embarrassed he/she quickly got dressed and ran out as my friend roared in laughter for about 20 minutes straight.

I met this girl on Lavalife and took her to see Star Trek on our third date. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theater. My date went to the bathroom, and never came back.

I got really hammered on my first date with this guy. The next day he sent me a text reminding me of what I did... I didn't remember any of it. He said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my phone number to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. He also said he wasn't interested in going out again.

How could he not consider that a good first date???