I think I'm dating Johnny Cash. I have been out with this guy I met on Match.com 4 times now. Every single time he has worn a completely black outfit.

I guess black can be stylish but this guy has taken it too far. On our last date we went to the beach; he wore a jet black bathing suit, black sandals, black t-shirt, and a black baseball cap. It was really creepy when he pulled out a black towel to lie on.

Next!

This isn't actually a date since I didn't meet him. I started chatting with this man I met on Adult Friend Finder. The picture he displayed on the site seemed nice enough and he seemed to be all right. So we moved our chat to MSN Windows Live Messenger. When there he showed a picture of himself considerably larger than the one on the site. I commented on it and he told me the one on the site was about a year old and he'd give me a slide show to show me the progression of himself over that year.

He started sharing pictures and began a running commentary on his life at that stage, what the picture was of and how he progressed from there. By the third picture I was suffering from far too much information syndrome and decided this guy was a tad needy for my tastes.

I wanted to bow out gracefully so I explained to him politely that upon further examinations of the pictures that he wasn't my type. I thanked him for his interest and wished him good luck.

I was seeing this guy for about three months and assumed it was understood that we were exclusive. The other day he forgot his mobile phone at my place. Curious I took a peek at his contact list.

Under my name in the notes he had written "big tits, gives good head." Both a true, but that was a little unflattering.

I checked some other contacts and found all kinds of other girls with similar notes in there. This is pretty crude, I thought, but I guess he's just a little perverted.

It's when I checked his call logs that I really got pissed off. He had calls to/from these other women continuously, all while we were going out. What a pig!!! Who does he think he is, Tiger Woods?

I wrote him a nasty email and smashed his phone with a hammer. I guess he'll have to start building up his stable from scratch.